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How do I help?

Question:

Although there are ways to tell. As he said, Erections, ejaculations and orgasms can be separate things. But most happen at once.

Yes, erection is separate from ejaculation and orgasm, because they are caused by different mechanisms. But can ejaculation and orgasm be separate things? — Walter

Response:

Although there are ways to tell. As he said, Erections, ejaculations and orgasms can be separate things. But most happen at once. Yes, erection is separate from ejaculation and orgasm, because they are caused by different mechanisms. But can ejaculation and orgasm be separate things?

Yes. Been there, done that.

Response:

But can ejaculation and orgasm be separate things?

I would have said "no" until I started experimenting with Viagra.  The first time I used it I ejaculated without an orgasm.  So, "yes, they are separate."

Response:

Cat <’tyouspamme.com dijo a todos por la internet: I recently began a loving relationship with a man who is around 15 years older than me, and who is impotent due to his BP meds.  We also think it has something to do with his diabetes meds.  He has had ED for around eight years.  He tried Viagra about a year ago, and said it didn’t do anything for him.

Blood pressure meds can cause erectile dysfunction, but it is impossible for diabetes medications to do so. Since you said in a later message that he is taking Humulin N, 80 units a.m., 50 units p.m. Humulin R, 30 units a.m., 20 units p.m. I should comment that this quantity of insulin is kind of high. Not that it is dangerous, particularly, just that most patients don’t require that much. It sounds as though he must be quite insulin resistant, or quite overweight, or both. While insulin cannot cause ED, uncontrolled diabetes itself can. There is no such thing as a perfectly controlled diabetic, although some of us get pretty good. The less perfect the control, the more complications will develop over the years. One of those complications is frequently ED. It takes years of poor control before the complications reach the stage where ED becomes noticeable. Of course, the worse the control, the fewer years it takes. There are two main causes of diabetic ED. Higher than normal blood sugar levels causes glycoselization of various tissues in the body (that means that sugar gets into them and stays there). When the sugar gets into the walls of blood vessels, it hardens them, causing high blood pressure and other vascular difficulties. Since erections depend on good blood flow, this can contribute to ED. The other problem that diabetics have is when the sugar coats the myelin sheaths at the ends of nerve cells. This increases the dielectric quality of the nerve connections (increases electrical resistance), meaning that messages from the brain don’t make it all the way down a long nerve. This is called neuropathy, and generally affects the feet first. For some reason, although the nerves to the genitals are much shorter than the nerves to the feet, it hits there almost as fast as the feet. If the message to the dick doesn’t get there — no erection. Of course, at first the message gets through some of the time, but the message has to be continual for the erection to work. As the neuropathy gets worse and worse, the erections get limper and limper. Side note: Nerve damage in diabetics is also frequently caused by microvascular difficulties. The hardening of blood vessel walls causes rupturing, reshunting, and general poor capillary blood flow. Lack of blood flow to the nerves makes them get kind of dead. Dead nerves don’t communicate very well. Sometimes it’s hard to tell if a diabetic’s neuropathy was caused by glycoselization of the myelin sheaths, or by loss of peripheral microvascular blood flow. So, to sum it up, the diabetes medications he is taking could not possibly be causing the ED. But the quantity he is using leads me to suspect that he was an undiagnosed diabetic for many years, and the uncontrolled diabetes caused at least part of the ED problems. If anything, bringing the diabetes under control frequently has a salutary effect on neuropathy. It’s as though the body rebounds slightly. Most of the damage is irreversible, but if his diabetes control can be improved, that may help at least a little bit. <snip Is an ejaculation that comes after no erection as satisfying as the "regular" kind?

Physically, it feels pretty much the same. Emotionally, you feel like half a man. Could this have been novel enough that the newness of it is what made him ejaculate, and he’s not going to be able to do this again?

Newness always heightens the excitement. That’s why people buy books like The Joy of Sex. But the horniness factor (libido) will eventually make even ordinary sex attractive. If his libido is shot as well as his erections, then future performance is questionable. If you are in a new relationship with a woman, and she’s asking questions about your impotence, what it feels like, etc., is that mortifying or refreshing?

It would be refreshing to me. But I like openness and honesty. And I would welcome it if it is out of concern for my well-being. I suspect I am a bit unusual among men, however. I’ve had enough penetrative sex in my life that I *truly* don’t mind not seeing an erection again.  However, in my zeal to be The Perfect Woman, I find that I really, really, really want to give him an orgasm; having achieved this once, I am determined to do so again.  What are my chances?

There is something else to consider. Many men find their ED is due, at least in part, to the "use it or lose it" syndrome (commonly reported here). Once you give the thing regular exercise, it starts working much better. I might also suggest fellatio, unless he doesn’t like it, of course. I find that when that is being done to me, I cannot tell from the feeling if I am really hard or not. Plus, the vacuum makes it easier to maintain an erection. It might be a way for him to have enjoyable sex without realizing he was still limp. I think he’s lucky to have you. Good luck! NOTICE: The e-mail address is deliberately incorrect. Delete "xnospam" from the username.

Response:

Correction!  I don’t experience only genital orgasms–i’ve experienced them–most of mine are whole body;-).  When you work out and are pumped up–whole body orgasms can be awesome. OR eon^^^

Response:

I’ve long espoused Wilhelm Reich’s distinction between geintal and whole body orgasm.  Many men, me included ;-) ,  experience only genital orgasm–ejaculation vs. whole body orgasm during which the body functions as one big muscle with paroxysmal contractions/relaxations.  For me these orgams move over my body like a wave.  Reich, a psychiatrist, as opposed to Freud thought many psychiatric conditions resulted from failure to discharege pent up sexual energies via genital orgasms. OR eon^^^

Response:

Nobody Technical correction – you gave him an ejaculation.  You don’t know that he had an orgasm unless he tells you so.

Although there are ways to tell. As he said, Erections, ejaculations and orgasms can be separate things. But most happen at once. Okay.  More specific, just in case.  When one ejaculates when flaccid, does it feel good?

It can. Men can have and organism and ejaculate without an erection. You should be able to tell when he has an orgasm. Heavy  breathing, perhaps moaning and groaning. Something else that may be of help. Just at orgasm, his testicles will draw up. And if he has an erection, normally it would get a  little harder at orgasm (not specifically ejaculation). I don’t have the experience to be able to tell you that the testicles draw up for the ejaculation or the organism. Perhaps someone else knows.  This may be my problem. First off, I can talk about *anything*.  [

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